Kristen Welker released a heartbreaking and personal letter announcing that she and her husband are gearing up to welcome their first baby, a girl child post tiring battle with infertility issues. Through a message meant for her daughter, Welker explained the encounters of sadness, pain, and loneliness.
As per CDC’s reports, one out of every eight couples faces trouble in getting pregnant or carrying it on. Experts feel that open discussions about infertility in public can aid people in breaking the taboo surrounding it and encourage healing in people fighting with similar issues.
Welker said in her letter that she and her husband felt so lonely, just like how others were going through the same. She said addressing her daughter that she and her husband went through so much but never gave up at any time.
Her letter read, “Then, on a chilly weekday morning as I was walking into work, a doctor called with the most difficult news. The doctor said that, unlike most mommies, I would not be able to carry you in my belly and I would need a special helper to carry you inside her belly. That person is called a ‘surrogate.’ On that day, I cried so many tears that I didn’t think they would ever stop. I felt as though I had let you down because I couldn’t carry you myself.”
These profuse emotions are quite normal for women fighting miscarriage, infertility, and complications during pregnancy. As per Alice Domar, the director of body/mind services of IVF Boston, and executive director at Domar Centers for Mind/Body and Health, women facing infertility may perceive the exact levels of depression and anxiety as women suffering from HIV, heart disease, or cancer would face.
Founder of Proov, the at-home progesterone test kit, Amy Beckley said to USA Today back in February that it may not be normal if the emotions could be turned off like a switch. She stated that prolonged feelings of distress are found and that people think about these at present.
Dr. Janalle Luk from New York’s Generation Next Facility said that the pain may be enormous in women who suffered a miscarriage, and the pain would still be there even if it happened a while ago. Luk also said that public confessions by celebrities can help normalize these discussions and support women facing similar problems.
Chrissy Teigen spoke publicly about her IVF experience and suffered a pregnancy termination this year that women grieving in silence is what drove her to speak up about her experiences frankly.
Even though these open conversations about infertility can be helpful, certain things shouldn’t be said to people facing them. Some statements like ‘God has a plan,’ ‘why don’t you just adopt,’ and a lot more are better unsaid, says Domar.
Welker in her letter also spoke about her current frame of mind saying to her daughter even though she couldn’t carry her daughter in her body, she’d always do that in her heart and will always be a mommy.